When someone loses a dog or a cat, the loss can feel less recognized by other people than other losses, even though the pet was part of their everyday life for years. A small gift says something simple: I know this matters, and I remember your pet too. The best memorial gifts use the pet's name, keep a memory close, and ask nothing of the person who is grieving. Below are ideas, what to write in a card, a few things to avoid, and where to find support.
Start with a card
If you only do one thing, send a card or a message, and use the pet's name. A specific memory means more than a general phrase. A few ways to start:
- "I'm so sorry about Bella. I'll always remember how she ran to the door every time I visited."
- "Thinking of you and Max. He was lucky to have you, and you gave him a wonderful life."
- "There's no right thing to say, but I wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and Luna."
Short is fine. The point is that someone noticed, and remembered the pet by name.
Memorial gift ideas
A memorial portrait
A portrait of the pet, with its name and dates, turns a favorite photo into something for the wall. It works best with a clear photo of the pet's face. For a surprise, a family member or a close friend may be able to share one; only use a photo you took yourself or have permission to use.
A paw print or a lock of fur
A clay paw print or a small keepsake box with a clipping of fur can mean a lot to an owner. Veterinary Medicine at Illinois notes that many clinics provide keepsakes after euthanasia: "they may make an impression of the pet's paw print in a piece of clay or using ink on paper, or they may clip a lock of the pet's hair." If the timing is right and it feels appropriate, you can gently mention that some clinics offer this.
A photo book or a framed photo
Gather the best pictures of the pet into a small book, or frame one favorite photo. If you have photos of the pet that the owner may never have seen, from a walk or a visit, they can mean a lot.
A memorial stone, a plant or a tree
An engraved garden stone, or a plant or small tree to grow in the pet's memory, gives the owner a place to go. If the household has a cat, skip lilies, in plants and in sympathy bouquets: the FDA says "the entire lily plant is toxic: the stem, leaves, flowers, pollen, and even the water in a vase," and lily poisoning can "cause your cat to develop fatal kidney failure in less than 3 days." More about this in our guide to cat-safe holidays.
A frame for the collar
A shadow box frame for the collar, the tag or a favorite toy turns everyday objects into a small memorial.
A memorial ornament or candle
An ornament with the pet's name brings it back every December, and a candle with the name engraved is a quiet way to remember on hard days. Ideas for ornaments are in personalized dog ornaments.
A donation in the pet's name
A donation to a local shelter or rescue, with a card that names the pet, helps other animals and honors the one that is gone.
A book about pet loss
A gentle book about grief after losing a pet can help, especially for someone who feels alone with it. For a family with children, a picture book about losing a pet can make the conversation easier.
Our memorial portrait
Full disclosure: PawSums, the team behind this site, makes memorial portraits on canvas. You upload one clear photo of the pet's face and type its name and the dates or a short line. We create a soft watercolor-style portrait with AI-assisted digital art, check it by hand and email you a preview with the name and dates in place before anything is printed. Reply within 24 hours if you would like one free change; if we don't hear from you, the portrait goes to print. We use the words exactly as you type them, and if you spot a typo in the preview, we fix it for free. The portrait comes on a 12" x 16" canvas for $64.99 or an 18" x 24" canvas for $94.99. Economy shipping in the US is free and takes about 9 to 16 business days, Standard is $4.99 and takes about 7 to 13 business days, and during the holiday season it can take a few days longer.
What to avoid
- Offering a new pet. Even with the best intentions, a new puppy or kitten soon after a loss can feel like a replacement. Let the owner decide if and when.
- Minimizing the loss. Phrases like "it was just a dog" or "at least it wasn't a person" hurt, even when meant to help.
- Gifts that create work. A plant that needs constant care or a project to finish can feel like a burden in the first weeks.
- Pushing for details. If the owner does not want to talk about how the pet died, follow their lead.
Helping children with the loss of a pet
For many children, the loss of a pet is their first experience of death. Cornell's pet loss resources advise being honest and to "allow them to ask questions," and note that "listening is the most important thing." Children can also take part in remembering the pet by drawing, writing or sharing their memories. A drawing of the pet, framed, can be a child's own memorial gift.
Where to find support
Grief after losing a pet is real. Cornell's advice for coping includes: "Surround yourself with compassionate people who understand the significance of your loss." Two university pet loss hotlines are staffed by volunteers:
- Cornell University Pet Loss Support Hotline: 607-218-7457. Cornell says the hotline is "staffed by volunteer veterinary students who have undergone extensive training with professional grief counselors," and that its hours "vary seasonally," so call for current hours. It "is not a mental health hotline."
- Tufts University Pet Loss Support Helpline: 508-839-7966, staffed from 6 pm to 9 pm Monday through Thursday Eastern time, with voicemail at other times.
If grief ever feels like more than you can manage, or you are worried about someone's safety, contact a doctor or a mental health professional. In the US, you can call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
Frequently asked questions
Is it appropriate to give a gift when someone's pet dies?
Yes. A small, thoughtful gift or even just a card tells the person that their loss is real to you too. Keep it simple and use the pet's name.
What do you write in a sympathy card for a pet?
Say you are sorry, use the pet's name, and if you can, share one specific memory of the pet. Short and sincere is better than long.
What is a good memorial gift for someone who lost a cat?
A memorial portrait, a framed photo, a keepsake for the collar, or a donation to a shelter in the cat's name. If you send flowers, leave out lilies if there are other cats in the home, because they are toxic to cats.
How soon should I give a pet memorial gift?
A card or message is welcome right away. A gift can come in the first weeks or later, for example on the pet's birthday or around the holidays, when the loss may be felt again.
Sources
- Cornell University College of Veterinary Medicine: Pet Loss Resources and Support
- Tufts University Cummings School of Veterinary Medicine: Pet Loss Support Helpline
- Veterinary Medicine at Illinois: Euthanasia: Why, When, and How to Say Goodbye to a Pet (February 21, 2024)
- U.S. Food and Drug Administration: Lovely Lilies and Curious Cats: A Dangerous Combination (content current as of September 16, 2021)
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org